I got my periods when I was eleven years old. Apparently since I was an overweight kid, all the aunts in the family had assured my mother that I would get it sooner rather than later. [inlinetweet prefix=”” tweeter=”” suffix=””]My mom was hoping that I would hold on until the age of thirteen at least.[/inlinetweet] This was in fact a much discussed topic at all family gatherings. But hello, no one warned me or told me that such a thing would happen to me. So, naturally I was horrified to see the blood coming out of my body which gave my poor mother a lot of grief. Perhaps if she had prepared me for it, I might have accepted it a little better. Anyway, I don’t hold it against her.I don’t think she had a clue about how she would talk to me about it. Her mother had never broached the subject with her either. So it was only natural for her to assume that she did not have to do it with me.

But things are different now. Our children are exposed to so much more. They see sanitary napkin advertisements. My ten year old daughter senses PMS mood swings and casually asks if it’s ‘that time of the month’!  Unlike my generation of girls (or should I just say unlike me,instead of making this sweeping generalising statement?) – girls these days are far more aware of the changes in their bodies. They don’t like hair spouting up in weird places.[inlinetweet prefix=”” tweeter=”” suffix=””] “Can’t I just wax it?” asked my ten-year old daughter[/inlinetweet] while examining her sparsely hairy underarms in the mirror.  Apparently one day in school, a girl in their class wore a short-sleeved top and the ‘girly gang’ of grade five was appalled to see her oh-so-hairy underarms. They immediately expelled the poor unsuspecting girl from their group. I was horrified when I heard about this incident! Ten-year olds do this? Really? I thought such stuff would come up when they were teenagers. That’s when I decided that I needed to tell my daughter about menstruation before the ‘girly gang’ filled her head with all sorts of wrong notions about it.

Best way to talk to your daughters about periods

Having made this decision, I was faced with the daunting task of how to tell her about all of this. Or rather, how much do I tell her? With no set precedent to follow, I had no idea how to go about it. I asked other mothers with girls who were ten years or older. They nonchalantly told me that they had told their daughters what to expect. “Tell her. Mentally prepare her,” they urged me.

But I was confused. [inlinetweet prefix=”” tweeter=”” suffix=””]How much is too much to tell a ten-year old?[/inlinetweet] Since menstruation is linked to childbirth, do I also tell her about sex? Isn’t it too early to tell her about sex? My worry is that if I tell her, then will I kill her innocence? Right now, her best friend is a boy. Their friendship is so sweet and innocent. Will I not ruin that friendship by telling her about sex?

In the end I decided to trust my instincts. I explained to my daughter in as simple a manner as possible about what menstruation was and how she must be prepared for it. I told her what signs she must observe in her body – and to let me know if she exhibits/experiences any of those signs/symptoms. At the end of our long bed time talk, she turned to me and said[inlinetweet prefix=”” tweeter=”” suffix=””] “But amma, how does the sperm enter our body?”[/inlinetweet]
Errrrrr…awkward pause!

Then I pretended to yawn and tell her that we would talk about it another time. I’m still not sure she is ready for that yet.  Maybe next year? Or maybe once she starts menstruating. Not now. For now I’ll let her be my sweet, innocent little baby. For now, I shall cuddle her and go to sleep.

Note: Reading the Menstrupedia comic together also helped a great deal in clarifying many of her doubts. But still, her big doubt remains – how does the sperm enter our bodies?

Deepa-RaviAuthor: Deepa Ravi

Deepa feels it is an honour and a privilege to be the mother of a girl child. She is an advertising professional who is passionate about entertaining inquisitive little brats – in the form of storytelling, puppet shows and children’s theatre. Connect with her on www.deepamusing.com

Editor: Divya Rosaline

easiet way to teach and learn about periods

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