Memories Of My First-Period Celebration Still Haunt Me

Posted on Dec 5th, 2015

by Kanimozhi Raju

Having rural roots so to speak and that too from down south in Tamil Nadu, the word ‘puberty’ will always evoke memories of a ‘puberty function’ or the ‘Age-attaining function’ as they call it, which is important for any girl from our area. I am no exception to this rule.

I had witnessed only one such function in my extended family that too at an age when I was too naive to understand or comprehend what it was all about. But somehow, I managed to draw the conclusion that every girl had to go through it on some day or the other. Surprisingly, back then also, the function didn’t really seem to appeal to me. The only nice part about it was receiving gifts from people. Witnessing my cousin get accomdation for staying in isolation for three days in a remote corner of our ancestral house in a palm/coconut leaf woven, cramped hut of a temporary structure which had enough space only for one person to lay down, a new plate exclusively purchased to serve her food which nobody else would touch, compelled to dress only in a half saree, restricted in her interactions with menfolk even if it was her father/brother, all left me quite amused and yet very sad. All that she had to do for those three days was being confined to her ‘area’ and to eat and sleep there. The fourth day is when the function happens following which, everything becomes normal overnight.

Knowing that someday I would be made to go through the same torture, I secretly prayed deep inside my heart that the day would never come but my prayers fell on the deaf ears of The Almighty .

We used to live in Mumbai then, and I was in my 8^th grade. Since I was down with fever, I had taken leave from school. This was when mum happened to notice some scattered blood stains on the white coloured bedspread on which I was resting. Almost spontaneously she questioned me “Do you have stains on your panties as well?”

My reply in the affirmative meant that I had embarked on my journey towards adolescence. Questions like “Since how long have you been noticing blood stains on your panties, along with the presence of red coloured discharge while urinating?”,”Why didn’t you tell me on the very same day?“ followed. I was then instructed to follow her into the washroom where she demonstrated how I had to use a sanitary pad,also explaining how it was nothing but just a normal biological process occurring every month that eventually prepared a girl to bear children at some later point in life.

All this was fine, until I realized that soon a puberty function similar to what I had seen as a child would now be organized. Somehow, I had to be mentally prepared for it since I was left with no other alternative.

Months later, we visited our native place solely for this purpose. As mentioned earlier, I was also given the same treatment as my cousin, which made me feel like an untouchable. Feeling tormented and with no one to raise a voice against these illogical rituals towards, all that I could do was obey them without any cribbing.

Three days passed by that almost felt like thirty years in isolation. The thought that the torture was finally coming to an end, made me finally find some solace. It was now the fourth day, the ‘function’ day.

Being one of the affluent families in the whole village, and since I am the only daughter to my parents, it was obvious that it had to be a grand, glittery occasion in every possible way with lots of guests marking their attendance. Preparations were going on in full swing, when all of sudden there was heavy downpour. The weather soon turned very cold. It was about 8 pm, and I was quickly made to dress up in our traditional attire by the womenfolk of our family. The overnight unnecessary celebrity attention just because I attained puberty annoyed me the most. Questions like why the whole world had to know about my puberty kept ringing in my head.

The function now began with a customary ritual in which I was asked to walk on five beetel leaves placed on the ground in a sequence. Stepping on each of them was accompanied by pouring a pot full of water drenching me from the top to the bottom. The water was so freezing cold that I thought I might die due to shivering. My body froze and felt numb for a while. Controlling my anger and tears, in order to avoid creating a scene in front of everyone and putting my parents to shame and embarrassment, I obliged with all the inhumane traditional practices imposed upon me.

Years have rolled by but it still continues to haunt me. Today when I look back, I feel sorry for the adolescent me who didn’t do anything to escape the atrocities, the seclusion, the third-rate treatment and such, for three days.

Here’s hoping that some day good sense prevails upon such ignorant villagers and they work towards making puberty a joyful experience for all girls out there. Here is also requesting parents not to compel their little angels to be part of any such functions against their consent, especially when they hold no more value/importance in the present-day scenario.