A Message For Parents Of The Little Girl Who Just Got Her Period

Posted on Feb 24th, 2016

by Narmadha Kamal

The Shame.

One fine breezy day, in the school’s large playground, a little girl in the sixth grade was running and playing like an Angel playing in the sky, like a butterfly in a garden, like water flowing from waterfalls. A couple of months later, the weather was almost the same, it was the Physical Training period and all the children were seen playing save for the Angel who was not comfortable playing. This butterfly was silently managing. “What could be the reason for this?”everyone wondered. PERIODS of course!

Yes, she had attained puberty. The very first scary sentence every aunty in the society utters and warns her about is [inlinetweet prefix=”” tweeter=”null” suffix=”null”]”Your dress might show blood during periods, be careful. Keep checking!”[/inlinetweet] This little brain is facing its first bouts of tension due to this gender difference. Even while walking, she feels compelled to turn around and check her dress and to also make sure that no one, especially boys, notice what she is doing. What unnecessary mental pressure! And trust me, that stress follows her throughout her life until her menopause. When someone falls down during football and bleeds on his knees and if his clothes are stained with blood, do we warn him and make him feel ashamed? Then why do unavoidable period stains constitute women’s most shameful memories? Oh little Angel! Break those rules!

Dear Parent, whenever you see your little girl happily running around and playing, remember – the period myths that you warn her about might make her lose her innocence which might control her mind from freely flying. Does your warning make anything positive? Teach her how to manage her periods and not to panic if she does stain.

The Myth.

In India, in most of the houses, we have a custom of showering immediately upon getting periods, and many a time, the entire house has to be mopped; there is a ‘no entry’ policy inside pooja rooms as well. I was also brought up in this typical way, so each month post my periods, I caught colds due to taking baths in the middle of the night due to such customs. Though there was a strict ‘no entry’ policy into our pooja room, if I took a step in by mistake, my mom would sprinkle turmeric water inside the room. So, me – the little school girl who loved kalkandu (sugar candy) which was kept inside our pooja room would get tempted to eat it and I always walked in there, ate sugar candy and then sprinkled turmeric water upon the floor. Now I feel silly, since I had not known the logic behind sterilizing the house and panicked often thanks to these customs. Those days when pads were not commonplace, women had to manage it the tough way during periods no matter where they walked and would often bleed on to the floor. That is why the floors were cleaned with turmeric water as a method of sterilizing was adopted. While we carried forward the custom, we forgot the science behind why it was practiced. I wonder how many such kids blindly follow the myth, completely missing the logic behind its use.

The Distance.

A daughter is always her daddy’s little girl. Go to the villages and try to find a girl hugging her father post puberty. “What the hell? Don’t you have any manners reserved after puberty? You are not supposed to hug daddy that way” – such will be the harsh statements from old-aged women hurled at girls who have attained puberty. I am so lucky that my father never changed the way he pampered me since my childhood, and even now into my thirties. But I do have friends who have felt like ‘untouchables‘ post their periods since they were not even allowed to eat together during ‘those’ days with the rest of their family. They did not get their kisses from daddy even on birthdays. One of my friends was very affected by these changes and this can be an important event for a teenager who is susceptible to getting psychologically affected. Many wrong choices of attraction can be made during these early stages because of such neglect. So never ever show adverse changes in affection towards little girls, for they are just growing. React in the same way you reacted when she was teething, when her hair grew long, when she put nail polish on herself. [inlinetweet prefix=”null” tweeter=”null” suffix=”null”]Puberty is also a growth phase for your little girl and not a phase to push or distance yourself from her. [/inlinetweet]Can anything in this world cause a real distance between father and daughter? Then why let an ancient myth do so?

There is a trend-setting change during every generation. There also arises a generation gap between each. Every parent must remember: what you do now with respect to your daughter’s periods, will either make you a trendsetter hereon or will create quite a big generation gap between you both!

To the little girls reading this article: [inlinetweet prefix=”” tweeter=”” suffix=””]NEVER BOW DOWN WHEN YOU ARE BLEEDING![/inlinetweet] No mother feels ashamed to give birth to her baby. It is a blessing to be a woman. In the same way, periods are designed for girls. Be proud of your gender! Let your mind never mark ‘those’ days as anything special / different. It is just a regular cycle of health taking place each month. Say ‘cheers’! Stay happy and healthy!

Author: Narmadha Kamal