For he is the coolest man in my life!

Men and Menstruation don’t really go hand in hand in Indian society. Females are not allowed to discuss this phenomenon candidly with any male. There are men who are exceptionally uncomfortable talking about this subject and have absolutely no opinion about this natural biological process. They believe that having less knowledge of the process is the key way of going about things. How can they even become acquainted with it without even interacting with females and hearing of their experiences? Mere bookish facts won’t serve the purpose. We humans are made out of emotions and love and not by computer chips and all sorts of machinery.

I am blessed with an elder sister, so my mother was least bothered about my first encounter with periods and the first public shame and humiliation that a period stain could bring. She knew I was prepared, due to my sister’s over hyped instructions and training but I was more enlightened about the menstrual process by my father in the correct fashion. In fact, to my surprise, I still and will always remember the moment I got my first periods because my father was the one who rushed to a nearby pharmacy and purchased a sanitary pad for me.He didn’t make me feel neglected or akin to an untouchable. He returned and handed over the pad straight to me and placed it in my hand. I am so glad for that moment to have occurred in my life. That was the ice breaking session between the two of us and I became most period-friendly with him afterwards as I still am!

My father used to work in a sanitary napkin manufacturing company and knew the in-depth theory behind the usage of pads and how they were to be employed on the lines of their thickness concerning blood flow. He taught me everything in detail and without any shame. He even insisted that I worship such a supernatural power and almost made me feel normal during my menstrual days. He said, the more you stop, the more your periods will overpower and dominate you.

Periods made only one single difference in my life. We (my sister,my father and I) indulged in a lot of humorous physical fights which often ended up in someone hitting someone’s head. During our period days, the first thing we would do was to inform our father not to fight with us for five days, as our physical weakness would make us lose the game, to which he would tease us by replying that we anyway never had a chance to win against him. I guess that was the one time when we embraced this failure of ours the most because we can always let our father win as he was actually a hero to us in so many ways like this.

But it doesn’t just end here. He would keep us pampered all the time by making tea for us, preparing hot water bottles without us even asking for it and taking leave from his work so that he could sit by our side. His presence at home lessened our pain significantly. His aura has such positive energy and heals us automatically. We have never felt an iota of embarrassment to discuss anything with him that was related to menstruation. His way of understanding and feeling our pain made us want to cuddle with him more during our periods while other girls found it difficult to even talk to their fathers regarding their own menstrual process.

I am so glad that HE is my father because of the friendship and togetherness that he has woven with us. He is an awesome listener and I wish all other fathers could support their daughters like this by being with them in their most fragile menstruation days when they are fighting against all sorts of emotional and physical challenges.

Once, I almost died of pain during my menstruation, leaving my father absolutely helpless. He suggested we go for a movie to which I shouted asking why I had the chromosome X and not Y. He laughed and said “I am glad it was X…I am glad it was a daughter.” I jumped out of the bed and said, “Ok! Which movie we should watch?” Such little incidents made us less fearful of our periods and we received more warmth from him.

My friends envied this. They craved for the same relationship which I felt was more on the lines of my sister and me being  ‘The Chosen Ones’ really. What’s more, we even have a code word for the term ‘periods’ at home by which we can discuss this anytime and in front of anyone leaving others perplexed.

I believe that young fathers whose daughters have not reached the stage of puberty should equip themselves with all the obligatory information linked with menstruation and that they should be the ones to disclose this major occurrence in the life of their daughters. This would create a magical bond which only you and your daughter could embrace.

Men should initiate this and grow to be powerful fathers and save their daughters from witnessing any ignorance from society. For daughters like us – our society, beliefs, values, faiths, almost everything is dependent on the early and timely teachings of our parents, especially fathers when it comes to menstruation. Daughters look up to fathers as the first important males in their lives. Don’t make your daughter regret that. Support her and support her EVEN during her menstruation.

This is a Winning Entry for Men and Menstruation Contest held by Menstrupedia.

Author: Harmeet Kaur Dawar

Harmeet is the Co-Founder of ‘The Pink Foundation’ and has empowered many lives by making them economically independent. She likes to share unheard and silenced life stories of her new friends and loves reading fiction.

Edited by: Divya Rosaline

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