This is a winning entry of our writing contest on “Periods in Pandemic” by Vishnu Priya Gopalsamy 

Ever felt a mini heart attack after every missing period? Every day until Mr.Red arrives, it is a day in hell. What if I am pregnant? Am I going to keep the baby? How will I raise the baby alone? Will the guy be supportive? Should I get married? Oh my god! I want a beach wedding! Ever had those million thoughts running, jumping, and squatting across your brain cells? This, my dear friend, is the life of a girl with PCOS.

Honestly, I am jealous of girls who complain about how they lose 5 days of a month to Mr.Red. Given a chance, I would swap my uterus with you girls. Any day! Girls with regular cycles can never understand the frustration girls like me feel.

To add oil to the flame, this pandemic has made me sit all day at home with all my cousins staying around. Myth or fact, girls tend to sync their period with each other. The worst part is, I sync mine with every one of my cousins (obviously girls). If I sync with Lavanya this month, next month it is sure to be Nivetha (which occurs apparently after 50 days!). And the struggle is real when they remember your cycle and ask if Mr.Red has arrived yet. What do I tell you, sissy? In such situations, I take a deep breath and tell myself, “Keep calm and wait for Mr.Red.”

And of course, my Mom knows about my disorder and how irregular my periods are, but still, she doesn’t act as if she knows. Every month, she panics after say the 40th day and this month, given that we cannot consult a doctor physically because of the lockdown, you should have seen the worry on her face. To which I am like, “Dude! I am staying with you and there is not a chance in hell for me to sleep with a guy, so please don’t be scared of my pregnancy!”

With all the peer (read: cousin) pressure during this pandemic, I have started exercising every day and on my lucky months, Mr.Red seems happy that he is punctual. On my worst months, no matter what I do or what I eat, Mr.Red goes, “Meh! I am not coming bro.” After burning up all the YouTube videos on ‘How to prepone periods’ or ‘How to cure irregular periods,’ Mr.Red would arrive but for whatever reason, he would give the “Girl-I-am-here-but-I-am-not” kind of vibe. This is when I envy girls with heavy flows during their periods. Can I trade my Mr.Red with yours?

After living away from home for almost 9 years, it is already a pain in the neck to stay at home when your parents treat you like a teenager. From my period cycle to the guy I video call, my Mom wants to know everything and my Dad knows until when I am awake in the night so that he can tell my mom the very first thing in the morning. Being away for years, I am still coming to terms with living with my parents. Coming from an orthodox family, I have restrictions on which bed I should use or which sheets I can use while I am on my periods. Will people ever grow up? Here, the people I speak of are none other than my mother. In our society, they have this tradition of not touching menstruating women’s clothes, which means that I have to wash my own clothes during my period which I get like 20 days late. And after I become ‘clean’ (or so do they say), they clean up the entire house behind me. Except for whitewashing, they do everything else. Wash sheets, mop the entire house, and what not! Orthodox, they call it. 

When I consult my gynaec, she asks me not to get stressed in order that I may regulate my periods. Little does she know that the stress is all about my periods. Even when I am just done with getting them, I get anxious about my period being on time next month. When that doesn’t happen, I stress about why it is late. The longer the days are, the bigger my stress bubbles are. So, how am I expected not to be stressed? Of course I am as I am sitting on the peak of the Stress mountain.

When I start my PCOS diet, people ask, “You are such a thin girl; why do you want to diet?” to which I just smile at them with a volcano burning inside. Can I tell them that I am on a diet not to make me thinner but to attract Mr.Red? With all the given facts, I do everything right. I mean everything!

✓Cut refined sugar.

✓Cut carbs.

✓Exercise regularly.

✓Do yoga.

✓Include vegetables and fruits.

✓Say no to junk.

Still, Mr.Red doesn’t seem to like me in particular. Maybe without this pandemic and lockdown, I would have been so busy with my life that I wouldn’t have given a damn about them coming late. For this very reason, I Hate You Corona!

Sincerely,

A Girl with PCOS

Author: Vishnu Priya Gopalsamy

Vishnu Priya is originally from Coimbatore in Tamil Nadu, but Bengaluru in Karnataka is like a second home to her. She loves the sun, moon, stars, mountains, beaches and everything nature has given us. She fell in love with books at a very young age and is happily stuck in her book world ever since. You can reach out to her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vishnupriya_93/

Edited by: Divya Rosaline

Image source: https://www.aljazeera.com/programmes/thestream/2017/01/25357-200325202027721.html